How Politics Can Teach the Sandwich Generation a Lesson in Communication

Senator John Kerry said his remark, "If you don't2. As body language and tone of voice count,
study hard you get stuck in Iraq," was a jokeassume a non-threatening stance and monitor
gone awry. President George W. Bush was critical,your negative emotions. Be slow to complain or
commenting to the Associated Press that "it didn'tcriticize. Take some responsibility by using
sound like a joke to me. More important, it didn't"I-focused" statements to clarify that this is your
sound like a joke to the troops." What did youpersonal opinion.
think?3. Listen closely without planning your response.
With the election right around the corner, theBe empathic to the speaker's position and ask
political stakes are high. Some bloggers andquestions for clearer understanding. Try to put
journalists in the Conservative camp are focusedyourself in the other's shoes and look at the issue
on Senator John Kerry's "campaign gaffe." Othersfrom that vantage point.
on the Democratic team view this fixation as a4. In a conflict, count to 10 before responding. Or,
GOP talking point - a smoke screen for Presidentinstead of escalating, walk away. Take time to
Bush's "inappropriately conducted war."calm down and agree to return to the discussion
Our concern is more personal - what lessons canlater and work out a solution.
you, the Sandwich Generation, learn about your5. Sometimes you do know what is best. Take a
own communication with your emerging adultstand and hold your ground when the safety or
children and aging parents?well being of your children or parents is at stake.
We all know that words can hurt. An offhandBe patient as they grow to appreciate your
remark or slip of the tongue can be emotionallyposition, even if it's unpopular at the time.
damaging. If the World War II motto, "loose lipsIf political history is prologue, it seems like it is
sink ships," is leaving you with what has beenhuman nature to defend yourself initially. Instead
termed the "foot-in-mouth syndrome," add theof fighting back, take some time to reflect.
following tips to your communication toolbox.Discuss your feelings with your family in flux
1. When addressing a sensitive issue, state aabout an issue that requires an apology. Use this
specific goal you want to accomplish. Be directas an opportunity - turn negative feelings into
and clear in what you say. Don't accuse or blamemore positive ones, teach a life lesson, form a
your listener's character or ideas.deeper connection.