| Senator John Kerry said his remark, "If you don't | | | | 2. As body language and tone of voice count, |
| study hard you get stuck in Iraq," was a joke | | | | assume a non-threatening stance and monitor |
| gone awry. President George W. Bush was critical, | | | | your negative emotions. Be slow to complain or |
| commenting to the Associated Press that "it didn't | | | | criticize. Take some responsibility by using |
| sound like a joke to me. More important, it didn't | | | | "I-focused" statements to clarify that this is your |
| sound like a joke to the troops." What did you | | | | personal opinion. |
| think? | | | | 3. Listen closely without planning your response. |
| With the election right around the corner, the | | | | Be empathic to the speaker's position and ask |
| political stakes are high. Some bloggers and | | | | questions for clearer understanding. Try to put |
| journalists in the Conservative camp are focused | | | | yourself in the other's shoes and look at the issue |
| on Senator John Kerry's "campaign gaffe." Others | | | | from that vantage point. |
| on the Democratic team view this fixation as a | | | | 4. In a conflict, count to 10 before responding. Or, |
| GOP talking point - a smoke screen for President | | | | instead of escalating, walk away. Take time to |
| Bush's "inappropriately conducted war." | | | | calm down and agree to return to the discussion |
| Our concern is more personal - what lessons can | | | | later and work out a solution. |
| you, the Sandwich Generation, learn about your | | | | 5. Sometimes you do know what is best. Take a |
| own communication with your emerging adult | | | | stand and hold your ground when the safety or |
| children and aging parents? | | | | well being of your children or parents is at stake. |
| We all know that words can hurt. An offhand | | | | Be patient as they grow to appreciate your |
| remark or slip of the tongue can be emotionally | | | | position, even if it's unpopular at the time. |
| damaging. If the World War II motto, "loose lips | | | | If political history is prologue, it seems like it is |
| sink ships," is leaving you with what has been | | | | human nature to defend yourself initially. Instead |
| termed the "foot-in-mouth syndrome," add the | | | | of fighting back, take some time to reflect. |
| following tips to your communication toolbox. | | | | Discuss your feelings with your family in flux |
| 1. When addressing a sensitive issue, state a | | | | about an issue that requires an apology. Use this |
| specific goal you want to accomplish. Be direct | | | | as an opportunity - turn negative feelings into |
| and clear in what you say. Don't accuse or blame | | | | more positive ones, teach a life lesson, form a |
| your listener's character or ideas. | | | | deeper connection. |