| Senator John Kerry said his remark, "If you | | | | 2. As body language and tone of voice count, |
| don't study hard you get stuck in Iraq," was | | | | assume a non-threatening stance and monitor |
| a joke gone awry. President George W. Bush | | | | your negative emotions. Be slow to complain |
| was critical, commenting to the Associated | | | | or criticize. Take some responsibility by |
| Press that "it didn't sound like a joke to | | | | using "I-focused" statements to clarify that |
| me. More important, it didn't sound like a | | | | this is your personal opinion. |
| joke to the troops." What did you think? | | | | |
| | | | 3. Listen closely without planning your |
| With the election right around the corner, | | | | response. Be empathic to the speaker's |
| the political stakes are high. Some bloggers | | | | position and ask questions for clearer |
| and journalists in the Conservative camp are | | | | understanding. Try to put yourself in the |
| focused on Senator John Kerry's "campaign | | | | other's shoes and look at the issue from that |
| gaffe." Others on the Democratic team view | | | | vantage point. |
| this fixation as a GOP talking point - a | | | | |
| smoke screen for President Bush's | | | | 4. In a conflict, count to 10 before |
| "inappropriately conducted war." | | | | responding. Or, instead of escalating, walk |
| | | | away. Take time to calm down and agree to |
| Our concern is more personal - what lessons | | | | return to the discussion later and work out a |
| can you, the Sandwich Generation, learn about | | | | solution. |
| your own communication with your emerging | | | | |
| adult children and aging parents? | | | | 5. Sometimes you do know what is best. Take |
| | | | a stand and hold your ground when the safety |
| We all know that words can hurt. An offhand | | | | or well being of your children or parents is |
| remark or slip of the tongue can be | | | | at stake. Be patient as they grow to |
| emotionally damaging. If the World War II | | | | appreciate your position, even if it's |
| motto, "loose lips sink ships," is leaving | | | | unpopular at the time. |
| you with what has been termed the | | | | |
| "foot-in-mouth syndrome," add the following | | | | If political history is prologue, it seems |
| tips to your communication toolbox. | | | | like it is human nature to defend yourself |
| | | | initially. Instead of fighting back, take |
| 1. When addressing a sensitive issue, state a | | | | some time to reflect. Discuss your feelings |
| specific goal you want to accomplish. Be | | | | with your family in flux about an issue that |
| direct and clear in what you say. Don't | | | | requires an apology. Use this as an |
| accuse or blame your listener's character or | | | | opportunity - turn negative feelings into |
| ideas. | | | | more positive ones, teach a life lesson, form |
| | | | a deeper connection. |