Breaking the Ice - What to Say and How to Say It

For the theme of this and following articles, I willabout how your networkee feels about it. "So,
be discussing the eight steps of the strategichow do you feel about that sculpture? Looks a
conversation exchange as proposed to a strangerlittle bit like Marge Simpson's hair."If you can add
or someone you are meeting for the first time.humor into an opening statement do it. If adding
This article is for face to face networking, (funnyhumor to your dialogue doesn't come naturally
how we have to distinguish now) and should bedon't bother. Be yourself and the rest will fall into
pictured as if you are approaching yourplace.
"networkee" at a social gathering where both of* Figure out why both of you are there. A well
you are standing and socializing.placed comment about why both of you are
This is the first installment of a multi-part series inwhere you are is also a great way to get the
the Strategic Conversational Exchange (SEC).SCE started. "Have you heard Mr. X speak
1. Breaking the ice.before? Where have you heard him?" Or "Are
2. Initiating small talk.you also part of the environmental forum?"
3. Establishing relationships of mutual friends or* Think of an interesting fact about the
contacts.establishment of where you are. Feel free to
4. Establishing location.expose this information outright to your
5. Explaining what they spend most of their timenetworkee. Remember it's not about what you
doing.say but ... that you're saying something. Think
6. Explaining what are some of their hobbies orabout the theme of what you want to say. If
interests.you want to go historical say something like: "You
7. Discussing aims and goals.know this building was around during WW2.
8. Parting ways.Amazing what these walls have seen." If you
Breaking the ice is the first step in developingwant to keep it laid back, say something about
sound conversation which will reap you the mostwhat has happened to you since you have been
social or professional benefits. It is arguably one ofin the establishment. If it was a positive
the most important steps when it comes toexperience, insist that he or she take part. "The
meeting new people and establishing freshrestaurant upstairs serves excellent cheesecake.
connections.The best I've ever had. Do you like cheesecake?
A simple way to start a SCE is to establish asYou should try some."
many commonalities as possible. Well, what doYou may notice how these talking points don't
you have in common with a complete stranger?start with a "Hi, I'm Mr. Realanxious. Nice to meet
Good question. You do have the space you'reyou." It's unnecessary and almost cliche. You
standing in common.stand out more when you come out with
As you approach your "networkee":something that's least expected (hence why pick
* Take note of any unusual characteristics aboutup lines don't work).
the place in which you are. Use the peculiar placeIn the next article I will discuss another way to
you are in to leverage a statement or questionbreak the ice with actual things you can say.